15 Myths About Intimate Relations We Need to Let Go
Couples take relationship myths too seriously, and reality has taken a back seat. Why are we saying
this? Because we come across so many statistics that portray couples as unhappy in their relationship According to this statistic, the average married couple has sex 68.5 times a year, which is almost once a week. Also, 6 out of 10 couples have admitted that they are unhappy in their relationship.
Here at Bright Side, we want to debunk many of the myths that eat away at healthy relationships. Better informed than misinformed.
1. Good couples have similar sexual preferences.
So does this mean that a couple who disagrees about intimacy and sex is not a good couple? We dismiss that as a myth.
Every human being has a set of needs that may differ from those of another person. Words like "sex" and "intimacy" have a very subjective meaning, to each their own. Couples can have different preferences, and good couples recognize and accommodate that.
2. It’s pretty normal that cuddling and gestures decrease with time.
Many people will tell you that romantic gestures tend to decrease over time. But doesn't that mean you're losing attraction to your partner? That you don't get butterflies in your stomach when you see them or goosebumps when you touch them? OK, if that sounds like a lot, let's get to what's required.
Sometimes partners have many expectations of each other, which can include public displays of love. However, a lack of affection is certainly not a good sign. Don't let your relationship die by talking about errands (mostly on your phones), unromantic lunches, and so on. Take time for each other and feel loved every day.
3. Men are generally more sexual than women.
Well, not necessarily. It differs from person to person. Women can have higher libido in some couples. According to Edward O. Laumann, Ph.D., "Sexual desire in women is extremely sensitive to environment and context." So even if your partner takes the lead, don't let your male ego get in the way.
4. Opposites attract.
If you have similar eating habits, you will have more fun exploring and eating. Similarly, if adventure, love, and intimacy mean the same thing to you, things might not get as finicky. So if you're both the same, where does the phrase "opposites attract" fit?
We shouldn't always go by the book. There are several things in life that happen with experience, including love and intimacy. There can be disagreements about music or maybe religion, but when you share a common value system with your partner, it works wonders. It's much easier to grow old with a like-minded person.
5. Happy couples have sex daily.
Is sex really a requirement for a happy relationship? Here we would like to disagree. It's situational sometimes. And having sex every day doesn't give you the title of a happy couple. Intimacy is not a task but an experience. You only have it when you want it.
As per Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., a Michigan clinical psychologist and author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, “Frustration is the number one thing that eats away at a relationship. It’s directly tied to these myths.”
6. There are no secrets in a relationship.
They say that you should discuss everything with your partner and that they should know you inside and out. However, there are situations in life when it's better not to spill the beans. He doesn't need to know that a guy hit on you at a party you were at with your friends when it all ended innocent; she doesn't have to be aware that you don't like her favorite dress. These are little secrets you can keep to yourself, and they're perfectly harmless.
7. Happy couples should sleep in the spoon position.
The spoon position is one of the classic sleeping positions in which one partner hugs the other protectively from behind. Patti Wood, an author, and body language expert says, "It's a very vulnerable position that's sexual but is like, 'I trust you.'" As a result, many tend to believe that this is the only sleeping position when you love herself
In fact, however, this only applies to 18% of couples. Others prefer different positions and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Sleep how you want!
8. It’s not good to go to bed with your partner in an angry mood.
It is not necessary to end all battles immediately. give him some time Don't let the argument turn into a bad fight just because you want a good night's sleep. Chances are you won't get one after things get out of hand.
If you get into an argument with your partner before bedtime, assess the intensity of the argument and your partner's anger. Only then should you decide whether to tackle the issue immediately or wait until morning.
9. Physical attraction is a prerequisite for any relationship.
It's true that the eyes speak before the tongue, but a good conversation lasts longer than a selfie. We may be physically attracted to someone, but only the mental frequency has a long-lasting connection.
10. A good relationship has no conflicts.
This one sounds too artificial and cinematic. In fact, it can also indicate that you don't discuss issues at all, which is worse than a conflict situation. It is necessary to discuss things with your partner.
A difficult argument or a messy conversation is much better than suppressed feelings. Keeping things transparent is always advisable for a happy relationship.
11. Your partner will always agree with your definition of intimacy.
Again not necessarily. Give your partner the freedom to voice their choices, not just ask them to agree with you. You may have a different definition of intimacy. In such situations, you can discuss your preferences openly with each other.
12. Being attracted to another is bad and can lead to a breakup.
It's human to be attracted to another human being, and it doesn't matter if you're already in a relationship or not. What makes a difference is how you deal with that attraction. They will surely pass it off as a normal affair.
However, it would not be wise to call it infidelity. Feelings come naturally, and it's the conscious choice that counts.
13. A good relationship should always put you in a happy mood.
Even the happiest couples go through mood swings, and it's pretty normal human behavior. There is also life beyond love. We all go through different ups and downs, whether privately or professionally.
You can talk about it with your partner to make you feel better, but that doesn't mean you can't be sad. It's natural to feel sad sometimes, not because you're not in a happy relationship, but because you've just had a mood swing.
14. Couples should have sex X times a day/week/month.
No one can definitively determine the frequency of sex as it varies from couple to couple. Even between partners, the amount of sex should not come with rules and regulations. Sex drives vary from person to person. If the frequency were fixed, you would start to think of even a nympho as normal.
It's not the frequency with which you have sex that matters to you, but the fulfillment it gives you.
15. Having a baby will solve all problems.
Yes, having a baby is a wonderful experience. But don't count it as a means to grow in your relationship. The fact is, having a baby can be stressful for both you and your partner. When all the time is devoted to the baby, partners sometimes feel that the gap is widening. In addition, there is often a sharp decrease in sexual activity.
So prepare for the baby in advance, discuss things with your partner and prepare to face all sorts of situations. Above all, only plan a family if you are both in an emotionally healthy relationship.
Did we miss something? Let us know how many of the above myths were enlightening to you.
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